We can all get fearful at times. We can be fearful of heights. We can be scared of water. The fear could be of public speaking, or of talking with authority figures. It could be a fear of many other things unique to each of us. Below are some tips on how you can overcome fears in your life.
Welcome the fear
If you’re fearful about something, then you will resist the undesirable feelings the fear creates inside you. Rather than resist your fear, welcome it in. Open your internal door and allow it in, noticing that the fear is trying to tell you something. It is up to you to decide whether to take its message on board, or not.
Challenge your fear
Fear can be real. For instance if someone is about to physically attack you, you have a real reason to get be fearful. However most of the time, everyday fears are usually worry, about what might happen. For instance, you worry about voicing your opinion because people might disapprove. In reality, no one has disapproved about anything. You have created a false fear of something, which hasn’t even happened. Next time you become frightful of something, ask yourself what are the chances of this really happening?
Change what you say to yourself
Underlying your fear, there will usually be unconscious words you say to yourself. For instance, if you analyse what you say to yourself, you might discover a lot of “I can’t” and “I won’t be able to” and “I could never do” type of statements. This type of language helps to lock the fear in and solidifies it. Just a slight shift in what you say to yourself, will allow you to experience that you can talk to yourself positively, which will help you to create a base to deal with your fear.
Face the fear
In order to overcome your fear, you need to confront it. You can do a lot of internal work by changing your attitude towards your fear and changing what you say to yourself. However, this needs to be supported by direct confrontation. For instance, if social situations are your fearful activity, you need to muster up the courage to go into the very such situations and be present in them. Keep doing this again and again until you become desensitised to the fear.
Break the fearful activity down
A fearful activity seems more difficult than it is because you tend to focus on the end goal and the end goal looks very difficult. For instance if you fear you will fail an exam, you just focus on the end point, which is getting a low score. However, there are a number of steps you can take in the process of preparing for your exams, so that you succeed.
In reality, such a fearful activity is just like any other process you would be undertaking. You can reduce its size by breaking it down into small steps. Each step achieved is progress towards overcoming your fear. You don’t need to even think about the next step until you have completed the one at hand and have rewarded yourself for reaching it.
My friends, it’s over to you:
• What other ways can we use to overcome fear?
• Please share your valuable views, experiences and thoughts in the comments box below.
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Photo Credit: return the sun