The Empower Blog

5644714850 F801b6e5ab

Why It Pays To Ask

5644714850_f801b6e5ab

Do you want to make progress in your life, but feel overwhelmed by all that you have to do? Do you need help, but are afraid to seek it because you believe people won’t want to assist you? If so, check out the following tips to find out why it is good to ask:

It’s impossible to do everything

I’m sure there a many tasks and activities you can do by yourself. However, there any many that you can’t. Yes, you can always learn to do more. However, if you’re completely swamped because of existing commitments, then asking for help really is the way to go.

Asking doesn’t make you any less

When you were a kid, the chances are you were encouraged to ask for help at school when you were stuck. This principle doesn’t change just because you’re an adult.

Remember, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s completely normal and something worth getting into the habit of doing.

It helps clearer communication

If you’re working in a team either at work, or in your community, then there will be times when you will be responsible for particular activities. Rather than doing something that you’re not totally clear about, ask for clarity first, so that you can do the best job possible.

You get more done

One of the key benefits of asking for help, is it allows you and the person(s) who is helping you to get more done. By working as a team in a mutually beneficial way, the impact of your work is far greater.

Better relationships

Asking others for help gives you an opportunity to create, meaningful relationships with the people you ask, which could last for years. Once you’ve asked a person to help you once, he or she will be likely to help you again.

More opportunities

Asking for help, in addition, can open up more opportunities for you. The people that support you will also have contacts and they could very well introduce others to you, which will increase your network.

It fills your skills gaps

By all means, it’s a good idea to keep on learning new competencies. However, as my friend Dan Black says, if the investment you will need to make to do so, in order to complete your task is too high, ask for help from someone who already has the necessary background and experience. It makes life so much easier.

It’s efficient

Sure, you’re very busy. Therefore there’s no need to think you have to do everything. By asking others for help, you free up time to make progress with other activities that need your attention.

Help back

Remember though, helping is a two way process. There will be times at work or in your personal life, where people will seek help. When they do, and if you’re in a position to do so, help them. People will remember you as someone they can trust and can count on.

My friends, it’s over to you:

• What other reasons can you think of, which explain why it is good to ask for help?
• Please share your valuable views, experiences and thoughts in the comments box below.
• Please also share this post on your favourite social networks. Thank you.

Photo Credit: andjohan

About Author

Hiten VyasI am a Life Coach, Author & Speaker. Early on in my life I have experienced extreme amounts of fear and anxiety because of difficulties due to stammering. This pretty much crippled all aspects of my life. I entered the self-development field in 2003, and since then have changed myself into a successful individual. It is now my passion to help you overcome your own difficulties, and assist you in living the life you want and deserve. I'm the author of the eBooks entitled How to Deliver a High Impact Speech for Beginners, Lessons in Unassuming Leadership, How To Present With Confidence, Mindfulness Meditation For Everyone, Confidence With Women - How To Approach and Talk With Women, How To Overcome Job Interview Anxiety, How To Cold Call With Confidence and Say No To Exam Stress. All my eBooks are also available from Flipkart and Rockstand.in. I'm also the Founder and Managing Editor of the online magazine eBooks India.View all posts by Hiten Vyas →

  1. David Stevens
    David Stevens01-12-2014

    Fine tips and explanations here Hiten. Without Questions we have no answers and Yes … You can’t do it by yourself. Bring someone else into the equation and solve your problem together. Thank You.

    Be good to yourself
    David
    David Stevens recently posted..Your Life is already Electric – Simply plug in!My Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-13-2014

      Hi David,

      I’m so glad you liked the post, my friend!

      Indeed, as you say, without questions we have no answers. This itself is enough to appreciate just how important questions are if we are to deal with challenges. Absolutely, solving problems collectively can be an extremely rewarding experience.

      Thanks so much for commenting, David and for adding so much more value to this post!
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  2. Harleena Singh
    Harleena Singh01-13-2014

    Hi Hiten,

    You are SO right in saying all that you did :)

    It IS good to ask for help to make your life a little easier for you I think. Just as you mentioned, it’s not possible for you to do everything always all alone. Certain things require more than one person handling affairs, or we need the help of others in the tasks at times, when it only makes sense to seek another persons help. It’s also like delegating duties that enhances your efficiency and gives you time to concentrate on other things that also need your attention.

    I seek help of my hubby if I am stuck in some tech aspect of the blog, or ask my kids to dust the area or lay out the table, so that I can work on other things – sometimes they even cook up a meal if they are in a good mood. So, ask and you shall receive as they say is what we all must be, when need be, just as you mentioned.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead :)
    Harleena Singh recently posted..Keep Moving Forward – My 3rd Blog AnniversaryMy Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-13-2014

      Hi Harleena,

      You wrote such a wonderful comment, my friend! As you quite rightly said, some things by their very nature need more than one person anyway. Therefore, it is literally impossible for one to do everything! I think learning to delegate at appropriate times is a great skill to develop.

      I think it’s wonderful that your husband helps you with the technology aspects of your blog, and also that your kids cook meals, as well! This is brilliant! As you say, ask we shall receive.

      Many thanks for commenting, Harleena and hope you’re feeling better! :-)
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  3. Suzie Cheel
    Suzie Cheel01-13-2014

    Hiten great tips and this is a year for me to ask for help and feel good about it. Thanks for sharing. I like you get more done :)
    Suzie Cheel recently posted..Do You Believe in You?My Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-13-2014

      Hi Suzie,

      I’m really glad you liked the tips, my friend!

      It’s wonderful that 2014 is the year for you to ask for help and feel good, too! This is wonderful.

      Many thanks for commenting, Suzie! :-)
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  4. Rupali Gupta
    Rupali Gupta01-13-2014

    Hi Hiten,

    Feeling good to see Again killing and creative tips from you. Sometimes we hesitate to ask for help from others, we think it will show our weakness but its not true. As you said it can create more chances of problem solving and better communication.

    So we must communicate our problems and create a helpful, familiar environment to be more productive and efficient.

    keep sharing these kind of articles…
    Rupali Gupta recently posted..Best Laptop Under 50 to 60 K with Core i5 (4th Generation) ProcessorMy Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-14-2014

      Hi Rupali,

      I’m really glad you liked the article, my friend.

      Your comment reminded me of the old saying, which is that a problem shared, is a problem halved. And we take this further by asking for help to overcome the problem we’re experiencing.

      Many thanks for adding so much more value to this post, Rupali!
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  5. Jon Mertz
    Jon Mertz01-13-2014

    Hiten,

    Great post. The real question may be this: Have you ever gone a day without asking a question? If the answer is “no,” then you are not learning or engaging with the people around you. Jon
    Jon Mertz recently posted..Leadership Guide for StudentsMy Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-14-2014

      Hi Jon,

      I’m really glad you liked the post!

      The question you shared is really powerful, and as you say, if the answer is “no” then we’re not learning or connecting with others; two things we should be striving to do as much as possible.

      Many thanks for commenting, Jon!
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  6. Jeevan Jacob John
    Jeevan Jacob John01-14-2014

    Great points, Hiten :)

    When I think about asking, often times, I think of class rooms. I do understand the importance of asking for help (I think I do :D).

    But, still sometimes, I don’t ask the questions (the ego is still playing a role here…I am thinking..Am I the only one with the qn? I know in reality that other people may not necessarily understand the concepts. They might have chose not to ask, like me).

    And, I do want to make the choice (I will be helping me and those other students, right?). When I think about it, it’s seems like an easy task..but when the situation arises, it becomes hard (My ego keeps telling me: you don’t want to look dumb in front of those people).

    Anyways, I will keep trying – to overcome my ego (it doesn’t really matter what others think…what matters is that I learn the concepts..after all, that’s why we go to school, right?).

    Anyways, thank you for sharing this, Hiten :) Appreciate it!
    Jeevan Jacob John recently posted..Goals, Resolutions and Motives – Why?My Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-17-2014

      Hi Jeevan,

      It’s wonderful to see you here, my friend.

      Ah, what you wrote about our egos stopping us from asking is so true. So is what you said about helping ourselves and others by asking. I think you’ve shared a great tip here, which is to remember that others probably don’t understand as well. Therefore, we can take the initiative and ask.

      I loved what you wrote about what being important is the concepts we learn and not what others think. This is another excellent thing to remind ourselves of.

      Many thanks for sharing such wonderful insights, Jeevan. Have a great weekend! :-)
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  7. Shalu Sharma
    Shalu Sharma01-15-2014

    Absolutely right Hiten, I agree with you completely. Sometimes you do feel if you are doing the right thing by asking or not but you will be surprised that if you do ask, there are lots of people who will respond positively. So it does pay to ask. So don’t be afraid to ask your friends, relatives or someone who you know.
    Shalu Sharma recently posted..Feeling peckish during sightseeing – have a masala dosaMy Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-17-2014

      Hi Shalu,

      You made some really interesting points. As you quite rightly said, many times we hesitate to ask, yet so many people want to help. Therefore, we need to ask more.

      Thanks for commenting, Shalu!
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  8. jamie flexman
    jamie flexman01-16-2014

    I find continually asking for help greatly reduces stress levels as our problems can be shared around and we might find out answers to question that we would never find on our own. It doesn’t always have to be something practical either. We can ask people for their opinions or even if they need YOUR help. It works both ways.
    jamie flexman recently posted..Analysis Paralysis – Why I Need To Re-evaluate My Life (and why I need your help)My Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-19-2014

      Hi Jamie,

      Absolutely, asking for help does reduce stress, as does just asking for an opinion or even talking things through. This is a great reminder that it is good to talk rather than keeping problems we’re facing to ourselves.

      Many thanks for commenting, Jamie and hope you’re having a good weekend.
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  9. Marquita Herald
    Marquita Herald01-17-2014

    Oh this is a good topic Hiten. I have always had real issues when it comes to asking for help, but a former mentor of mine worked with me on this. At the time I was in the travel business and spent half the year on planes and traveling outside of the US so I realized that learning to ask was imperative – not only – as you point out – that one person often can’t do it all – but also for my safety and my success as a negotiator. I learned some very important lessons during that time.
    Marquita Herald recently posted..Mastering Transition Is The Key to Meaningful Life ChangeMy Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-19-2014

      Hi Marty,

      Thank you so much for sharing such wonderful life lessons around this area.

      As you explained from your travelling experiences, asking is so important for our own safety and also for enabling us to work effectively in unfamiliar surroundings.

      Many thanks for commenting, Marty and hope you’re having a good weekend!
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  10. Mayura
    Mayura01-18-2014

    Hi Hiten,

    Very interesting topic which I find myself lack of :) Well, may be not.

    Since the childhood I was afraid to ask help or bother others on my problems, but always wanted to help others when I can. Anonymously, if I can. I didn’t have too many things going on either, so I managed to do things by myself without bothering others. So far I’ve been doing the same and if I couldn’t do something myself, I learnt it :) Pretty good so far!

    I feel kinda guilty if I ask for help (even from close friends), ’cause they have to devote their time for me which I feel they can’t afford. Not if I pay ‘em in return or so. Of course, if it’s something compulsory, I’m not gonna waste time on it for sure. Yet I feel pretty much better being myself and achieving alone :)

    Thanks for the thought provoking post Hiten :) Got me thinking!

    You have a fabulous weekend mate!

    Cheers…
    Mayura recently posted..Does the Length of a Blog Post Matter?My Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-19-2014

      Hi Mayura,

      It’s wonderful to see you here, my friend!

      Like you, my challenges with asking started when I was a kid. And I can also relate to what you wrote about feeling guilty about asking others and not wanting to bother others. What helped me become more forward in terms of asking is when I started work and realised far more could be achieved by asking for help.

      Also, when running a business, I realised it would be far easier to get others to help rather than doing everything myself.

      It’s great that you’re getting so much done alone! And you’re right, we learn so much. If it ever gets too much in the future though, do ask for help. :-)

      Many thanks fot adding some great insights to this post, Mayura! Have a wonderful week ahead!
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  11. Ludvig Sunström
    Ludvig Sunström01-19-2014

    Hey Hiten,

    “Once you’ve asked a person to help you once, he or she will be likely to help you again.”

    —-> This is a good point you make, and something I’ve thought about myself a lot over the past year. It’s definitely a thing that has proven true to me.

    Honestly, I think asking people things is a bit like what Wayne Gretzsky said:
    “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. And the same could be said about asking — you’ll never know if you don’t ask.

    In the short-term it may be embarrassing or whatever, but in the long-term you won’t learn much without daring to ask.
    Ludvig Sunström recently posted..Should You Talk About Your Goals or Not?My Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-21-2014

      Hi Ludvig,

      It’s great to see you here, my friend!

      I loved the quote you shared by Wayne Gretzsky and also your explanation of how this principle can also be applied to asking. As you said, if we don’t ask, we’ll never know.

      Your point about embarrassment got me thinking of the short term gain we get when we don’t ask. It may seem like we are protecting ourselves for a short period. However, we definitely don’t improve ourselves in the long term.

      Many thanks for leaving such a wonderful comment, Ludvig!
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  12. Li-ling
    Li-ling01-20-2014

    Hiten, I love the emphasis on bearing our vulnerabilities, on being brave enough to own up and ask for help. I also know that sometimes, in our haste to externalise what we think we want, need or desire, we overlook our own internal guidance.
    To truly ask and be brave enough to go within, sometimes reveals the most amazing of answers.
    Thank you for writing this post.

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-21-2014

      Hi Li-ling,

      What you wrote in your comment is great and what a wonderful perspective to add to this post!

      As you say, the best answers are usually within us, already. We just need to be brave and ask our inner wisdom to reveal the solutions we need.

      Many thanks for adding so much more value to this post, Li-ling!
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  13. Li-ling
    Li-ling01-20-2014

    Hiten, I love the emphasis on bearing our vulnerabilities, on being brave enough to own up and ask for help. I also know that sometimes, in our haste to externalise what we think we want, need or desire, we overlook our own internal guidance.
    To truly ask and be brave enough to go within, sometimes reveals the most amazing of answers.
    Thank you for writing this post.

  14. richmiraclefiles
    richmiraclefiles01-21-2014

    Hi Hiten,
    I agree with you about the fact that asking doesnt make you any less.It generates humility;something invaluable in interpersonal interactions.
    When we interact with people we need to be sure about what value we can gain by our interaction with them.Not an avaricious, greedy grab and run attitude of using and throwing people ;but an attitude of simultaneous humility and strength which urges us to find meaning in the most innocuous interaction with every one around us.
    By the way “interaction” also includes our conceptualisation ,our thoughts,our memories, and our expectations of others. That’s because whenever we think of any one in any way we are actually interacting with them on the mental plane.The fact is that we can generate value for ourselves from our conceptualisations also.
    Thanks
    Mona
    richmiraclefiles recently posted..REVERSE YOUR PROCLIVITIESMy Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-25-2014

      Hi Mona,

      You shared some wonderful insights in your comment, my friend!

      I can so resonate with what you said about asking and how it is completely human to do so. When we ask for help, people can relate to us, as others also know what it feels like when they need help themselves.

      Absolutely, as you quite rightly said, asking should come from a position of simultaneous humility and willingness on our part to help those who we seek assistance from.

      Indeed, as you stated, interaction can also happen through our thoughts and memories. Therefore, it’s important to ensure we take care of what we entertain in the contents of our minds, in order to send out positive vibes to others.

      Many thanks for leaving such a wonderful comment, Mona. Hope you’re having a good weekend.
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  15. Chris Bailey
    Chris Bailey01-21-2014

    Awesome post man! I can’t count how many times I’ve been surprised by how generous people have been when I simply asked for help or advice.

    One example comes to mind: about a year ago, I was a starving student and was running out of space on my Dropbox account. So out of the blue I emailed the company to ask them if they could show any consideration because I was a broke student, and without any hesitation they upgraded my account from 2GB of storage to 20GB!

    That’s just a small example in a long string of them, but in my experience it always pays to ask :) great post.
    Chris Bailey recently posted..The exact temperature you should sleep at to get a good night’s sleepMy Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-25-2014

      Hi Chris,

      I’m really glad you liked the post and many thanks for sharing your experiences with asking. As you say, we can be so pleasantly surprised by people’s responses when we ask.

      The story you shared about what happened with Dropbox is amazing. It’s great that you asked themto help you out as a student, and Dropbox also demonstrated compassion in helping you out.

      Many thanks for commenting, Chris! Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend! :-)
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  16. Sylviane Nuccio
    Sylviane Nuccio01-25-2014

    Hi Hiten,

    There’re many advantages by asking, and actually asking takes more courage than not asking inmost cases.

    For some reason, I’ve never really liked asking anything to others, because I always feel that I’m bothering the other persona while my whole life a lot of people have asked a lot of me and I’ve always been so willing to help and give that I had to had to put a brake to this.

    You’re right, we can’t do it all and when necessary, we need to ask. for help.
    Sylviane Nuccio recently posted..How To Create Your Perfect Life – Part TwoMy Profile

    • Hiten
      Hiten01-25-2014

      Hi Sylviane,

      What you wrote about asking taking courage is very true. Like you, I too have had challenges with asking others (I think you and I are quite similar!) and it is an area I’ve had to work on. It was only when I got into the workplace and got into running businesses that I realised I needed to be assertive and ask for help, otherwise I would remain stuck.

      Many thanks for commenting, Sylviane. Hope you’re having a great weekend! :-)
      Hiten recently posted..Why It Pays To AskMy Profile

  17. Wan
    Wan01-30-2014

    My father likes to preach to me about the value of asking. He said that people love when they are asked about anything. I think this is because it gives them the perception that they are valuable and useful to others.

    Anyway, thanks for the post, Hiten.
    Wan recently posted..Learn to Study Effectively by Using Spaced Repetition SoftwareMy Profile

  18. Charmie
    Charmie04-02-2014

    The things which usually make people feel complex about asking a question is that they feel scared and shy both. They feel as if how would I look if I ask out a question? I mean a question is a question, there is nothing more or less to it. There is nothing called an intelligent question or a stupid question. Its just a mind over matter.
    Charmie recently posted..Google Politics and Elections hub : Redefined dynamics in electionsMy Profile

Leave a Reply


7 × four =

CommentLuv badge