Note: This is an amazing guest post written by Kath Roberts. Please show this brilliant lady some love!

Self awareness is both underestimated and frequently exaggerated. Many people like to believe they are self aware yet fail to practise these five critical steps.

Step 1 Pay Attention.

One of the most essential and necessary parts to personal growth and development is the importance of staying 100% focused.

Think about it, when was the last time you paid attention to the taste of the food you were eating for lunch?

How often do you sit eating a meal without distraction from what’s on the TV?

Equally, how often do you go about your daily tasks distracted by feelings regarding your life, your relationship or perhaps lack of one, needs and desires, or just being fearful about what might come to pass?

When your thinking subsides for a moment a space of stillness arises within you, bringing a doorway into your being.

Most of us live in a world of constant mental abstraction, conceptualisation and image –making. In this world of thought we’re immersed in a continuous stream of mental noise and internal chatter.

We think about all our problems.

We think about all our past pains.

We ponder all our uncertainty for the future.

We think about how little time there is.

We think about doing more and booking our next holiday just to escape from it all and get some peace!

We lose ourselves in a frenzy of doing, then thinking, then more doing and anticipating and the more we do the more complex our world gets and the more we choose to suffer as a result.

So follow the first step, make intimate friends with the present moment. When you don’t allow yourself to be possessed by your thoughts or distracted by your gadgets you’ll find things around you gain a certain “newness” and “freshness” to them. The quality and depth of life returns and we begin to appreciate the beauty of nature and the small things in life that bring a certain richness like the smile of a stranger or the kind word of a colleague or just a walk with the dog.

Step 2 Learn To Speak The Truth.

When you do this, irrespective of the fact that it tends to be in our moral code, you align yourself with an amazing power. Passing along gossip is not necessarily speaking the truth. Words, believe it or not, have power and so vigilance over what you say, both to yourself and others, is imperative if you want to personally  grow.

When you can speak about your own inner experience your words bring you in closer union with others. We all love authenticity and sincerity in others because it’s such a rare commodity in public and professional life these days. We feel better about ourselves when we speak truthfully and we become seen as someone who can be trusted. Truth builds self esteem like nothing else and as you become more aligned with your real authentic nature, others will relate to you more.

When we are in a position to follow our hearts first then engage our heads in any decision-making process, we open up a channel for honest engagement. Think of it as your soul speaking directly to you, which is always more loving and kind.

Step 3-Get Clear On What You Want.

Many people never even get past this step because they fail to give sufficient time and focus to getting clear about it. The majority of folks live in a state of constant fear, focussing their attention instead on what they don’t want and then wondering what happened when life reciprocates those thoughts beautifully by providing the physical evidence.

Be specific and learn to verbalise and write your goals down in the present tense, imagining as you do that they’ve already been achieved. Many people know this but very few people do it.  It makes all the difference to a successful outcome, combined with all the other steps.

Making your needs and wants known is a necessary process of manifesting them.

Step 4 Lose The Victim Tag

No one causes you to feel bad other than yourself. We can’t always avoid life’s ebbs and flows and this means stuff happens that we don’t always want but we always get to choose how we want to respond. Blaming others for what happens to you is a cop out. When we seize blaming others for our self created experience we begin to see reality with an entirely new perspective. We literally get a quantum dose of personal growth.

Victims are helpless and you are the master of your destiny and the captain of your soul as the saying goes.

Think about it, what’s the difference between 2 identical twins, both raised in abject poverty, identical family circumstances, both get the same standard of education and attention from their parents. One goes on to become a self made millionaire and social philanthropist, whilst the other remains in the local neighbourhood turning to drug selling and crime as a means of thriving.

It comes down to choice and responsibility for ourselves but if you want to live a more fulfilling existence, free of guilt and full of positive life affirming experiences then you need to take full responsibility for your experience. That starts in believing it’s all possible and then learning to love and respect yourself enough to choose personal growth and doing the right thing over ego satisfaction and outside influence.

Step 5 Always Keep Your Agreements

When you set an intention to keep your agreements you begin to recognise how much harmony or disharmony you  are creating. In a nutshell when you don’t keep your agreements with yourself and others it becomes a heavy burden to bear. You fall into the trap of not liking or trusting yourself very much then speaking harshly to yourself, all leading to a cycle of excuses, disappointments and the dead end road to regrets.

Don’t let that happen to you!

Practise these 5 steps continuously and you’ll be well on your way up the self imposed mountain of limitations, expanding your horizons, self awareness and consciousness to view panoramic delights of transformative proportions.


Your turn

  • Please share your valuable experiences and thoughts in the comments box below.
  • How have you increased your own self-awareness to help you improve your life?
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Kath Roberts is a life and business coach, internet marketer, blogger and midlife rebel. She spent 13 years in recruitment at a senior level assisting others with building their careers and identifying top talent for her clients and her own business and now she’s advocating  flying solo, being your own boss and creating inspired work, the stuff that lights you up. Her unique talent comes from her love of personal development, coaching and a desire to inspire others. She’ll help you find yourself, then be yourself then find the work you love to do. She is an energiser, a ray of positivity and a guiding light in an ocean of possibilities that’s because she’s living her purpose. You can find her at: or