Today we give a warm welcome to husband and wife, Mohammed Rafi and Sareena Ikbal of Inspiringcitizen.com who have written this very special guest post.

You are good for nothing and that’s why you’re reading this article.

You are a willing learner and that’s why you’re reading this article, I believe.

And please excuse me if I provoked you with my first sentence.

It was just to give you a picture of the provocative style that was initiated by Frank Farrelly and carried over to the rest of the world by Sue Knight and Ashok Subramanian.

And are you wondering how it is going to help you? I will come to that in a bit.

Before that, my 2 cents advise to you. Please be patient and kindly avoid speed reading, if you want to get the full essence of this style and article.

I met Ashok Subramanian for the first time in Sep 2012 and I consider that meeting to be the biggest turning point of my life.

We spent 5 days at Atheeth Ashram, which is on the outskirts of Bangalore City for my NLP Practitioner Program. It was a truly enriching journey because of the ambiance, the people, the food, the nature, the weather and if you let me go then I will keep on going.

It’s for you to experience if you want to achieve success and lead a well-balanced life with full of joy and happiness.

For every question I asked, Ashok would give me a corresponding question which was provocative in nature. However, it was given with a coating of love and honesty to make myself realize the problems and find solutions. It has hugely benefited me in seeing the points that I have ignored in the past.

These days I provoke my colleagues, friends and family members to help them lead a happy life. They had the same feeling that I had with Ashok; they were able to see the point after I provoked them.

I kept on asking questions to Ashok right from the first day of our NLP program. He never gave me any answer that was convincing to me. On day 3, I asked him why he was not giving answers to my questions, to which he asked me to keep quiet for a while.

I got angry at him because of the way he responded to me. But after going to my room I did a deep introspection which gave me a compelling answer. I was talking too much and if I kept quiet and looked deep down in my heart, I would get answers to all my questions.

That was the time that I realized the value and understood the meaning of Ashok’s provocative coaching style which he learned from Frank Farrelly and Sue Knight.

I was a completely different man after the program was over. With those beautiful memories I boarded the bus to God’s own country, Kerala, the place where I and Sareena live our life.

Sareena (my wife) will tell you what happened after this and you will be surprised to see how a wife handled a supposedly mad husband..!

Rafi was for sure tired, but I could sense some difference in him.  Of course he has shed some weight, but I sensed a positive energy radiating from him. He is usually a calm person but I felt that he had become calmer.

He spoke much less and started saying sorry and thank you frequently, for whatever I did for him. This was shocking and I thought he was mad..!

I just asked him to stop all this nonsense and behave normally. However, he just smiled at me and said to keep quiet for some time and calm your mind.

I started thinking all sorts of negative things. I thought of calling Ashok and asking him “what have you done to my love? I want my Rafi as the same person.

Rafi, who is brilliant in reading my thoughts, hugged me, sat beside me and said “I am your same old loving husband dear, but now I have started loving you even more”. I was at sixes and sevens at his comment.

He then told me about the provocative NLP training, about the great human being Ashok and the transformation he had undergone. He told me that Ashok made him realise that his heart was becoming tougher and he provoked him to make it more loving and lighter.

This increased my curiosity and I decided to attend Ashok’s training along with my husband.

Ashok’s dress was not very impressive to me and I told him the same.

Now, you will see the first provocation that he posed at me.

“If you don’t like the way I dress up, then it’s your problem because you want me to dress up the way you want to”.

My first NLP learning and yes, for sure, now I was impressed by this man.

The only thing that I didn’t like about Ashok was that he never gave answers to our questions. When I asked him something, he just responded by asking a counter question and this was frustrating for me.

However, now I realise the benefit of those provocative questions. It led me to ask more questions to myself and find the answers.

Provocative love may seem frustrating, but effective. It will lead you to discover your true self.

Now, Rafi will tell you the 5 main benefits of Provocative Coaching and Provocative Love.

1. You will do a self-introspection

Let me ask you a question!

Why are you reading this article?

I guess you are looking for tips to achieve success.


The beauty of provocative coaching is that it will prepare you to find answers from within, rather than searching in the dark.

Most people seek guidance from others for their problems. But if you provoke a person coated with love, then they will find their own solutions and they will thank you for this.

2. You will stop asking questions

When something good happens to you, do you ever ask – Why me?

Then why do you ask – Why me? when you are posed with a problem.

This method will teach you to seek answers rather than questioning everything. You will develop a new perspective about life and you will embark on a new journey, which is what I am doing now.

3. You will learn the art of receiving and giving feedback

When you empty your heart and brain from perceptions, you will start accepting feedback and people.

Receiving negative feedback with an open heart is the hallmark of great people. Provocative coaching will help you to take negative feedback with an open heart and make adjustments to achieve success in your life.

You will also learn how to give feedback to people and help them towards their journey of excellence.

4. Importance of giving attention to details

People are used to giving importance to the big stuff. But they neglect the minor ones.

Simple stuff like saying thank you and sorry can play a huge role in your life.

I also learned to express my love towards my wife, friends and family members. Before this I never used to express my love.

At times you need to let people know that you love them. You will understand the importance of helping your wife in cooking or cleaning the home.

5. Helps you realise that you are the best and the worst

This will teach you to hope for the best and prepare yourself for the worst.

Provocations can tell you that you are capable of achieving everything in life.

At the same time, it will tell you that you are just a negligible piece of atom that can disintegrate at any point of time. Basically, it will help you shed your ego and helps you realize that you need to be more human.

If you wan’t to know more about provocative style then you can connect with me at mohamedrafi19@gmail.com.

We sincerely thank Hiten for giving us the opportunity to write this article for you.

Over to You:

What do you think of the provocative style of coaching?

Have you ever used this type of communication to help other people?

Have you ever had anyone use this type of communication to help you?

Please share your valuable thoughts, views and experiences in the comments box below.

Please also share this post on your favourite social networks.

About the Authors:

Inspiring Citizen

Rafi and Sareena are born for you and for each other. If you want to lead a happy, healthy and wealthy life then we are here to help you. Like you and Hiten, we are ordinary human beings with an extraordinary heart. So you will find it easy and beautiful to connect with us. We can also help you explore the world of NLP, Fire-walking, Blogging, Social media marketing and more importantly how to lead a happy life, which is what you strive for. Please visit our website and read our article on dealing with difficult people.

Photo Credit: RDECOM