I was inspired to write this post after a thread started by a friend on the Stuttering Arena Group on Facebook. The thread is entitled ‘Do you think perception of attractive stutterers is different than less attractive stutterers?‘
I found this quite interesting as it involves discussions related to dating and mating, and it reminded me of some of my own experiences. I want to share some of my views on this…
Firstly it is true that people who in general have striking looks, will get more attention from people. People like things that look good and this includes other people!
Now this is obviously the same for people who stutter. If you’re a good looking guy who stutters, then you probably get a lot of attention from the ladies in terms of them glancing at you and being around you. It’s basic laws of attraction.
On the otherhand, you may be an average looking guy who stutters who is struggling to get a date. You may have all kinds of confidence issues holding you back from asking that cute girl you know on a date.
However, do not despair my friends!
There are many things you can do both internally in terms of your confidence and externally to your appearance to help yourself. Below are some things I’ve done in my own life to transform the way I see myself and to increase my attractiveness:
1. Change how you think about yourself and the beliefs you hold about your ability to be attractive to members of the opposite sex. Doing so will very soon change the way women view you. Your confident thoughts and beliefs will manifest in the way you behave around women.
2. Take up activities where you can speak so your ability to talk increases. Public speaking groups and debating groups are very good and safe ways to do this. Being able to to speak up will enable you to go up to a girl you want to talk with. It also makes you more interesting. A guy who has a life and does things is interesting.
3. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror recently? Do you know deep down you could do with a little makeover, but have been avoiding it? Well follow your instinct and make some changes. If that beard is getting too long, shave it off and let the girls see your face! If you are overweight, then start running to help lose some weight.
If you haven’t been shopping for the past few years, get some new threads. Have a look at some of the online men’s magazines, pick out some models wearing the season’s outfits and hit the shops! Try on some stuff. Ask the sales assistants in the shops to give you their views on what looks good.
4. If you’re walking around with a hunchback, and your head down all the time, straighten your back and hold your head up high. Use the mirror to help you with this. Now smile! Put those shoulders back. After this practice walking with this posture. Also, if you walk to fast, slow down a little. All this might seem strange at first. Keep doing it and pretty soon it will become the way you walk! You won’t have to think about it.
There are many more things you can do to increase your initial attract ability! What you do after this, is a topic for another post… 🙂
If one of your goals for 2012 is to get a girlfriend, use the points in this post as a guide to get you started.