How to Be Likable

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When meeting and interacting with people whether in our professional or personal life, let’s face it, we get judged. For instance, people will judge us on the way we look and how we behave. We do it with other people, too. Therefore, in order to create a good and lasting impression, use the following tips to help you present yourself in a likable way:

Cooperate with others

Your life will flow much more naturally when you cooperate with people and agree to suggestions and ideas presented to you, and build upon them by adding your own views. Not only will this help in your interactions with people, it will also enable you to increase your productivity when you’re getting tasks done at work and at home, because others will be more cooperative about your ideas and plans.

Tell people a little about yourself

When you’re having conversations with people, tell them a little about the real you. By this, I don’t mean tell anyone your personal details. However, sharing a story about yourself at the right moment that another can relate to, will do wonders in making you more likable.

Be mindful of the bragging

You may think that telling stories about your flash car or the huge amounts of money you’ve been making recently might impress people. Sure enough some people might be. However, many people will see right through this and instead of being likable, you run the risk of coming across as insecure.

Wear the right clothes

Appropriate clothes are dependent on contexts. If you’re in a professional setting then ensure you’re wearing decent business attire. If you’re in a social context then less formal clothing is fine. To be on the safe side, if you’re going into a new setting, find out all you can about the type of clothing that will be appropriate, so that you can dress accordingly.

Don’t try and be what you’re not

There are a number of characteristics you have, which when you bring to the fore, will make you charming in your own way. Use what you already have, as opposed to being something you’re not. For instance, if you’re not someone who cracks a joke every other sentence, then don’t try and be this person. At some point you will lose all energy to keep up the act and when people find out the real you, you’ll come across as unauthentic.

Be courteous

In general, be respectful of other people. As simple as this might be, remember to say “please” and “thank you” when asking and receiving. If you see someone struggling with something and know you can help, then offer to do so. Also, if you’re arriving into an environment and its morning, wish other people you see a good day, or if you’re leaving then wish people a good evening. Such simple comments can increase your sense of warmth, which other people will pick up on.

Admit when you’ve got it wrong

If you’ve made a mistake and it has impacted another person then tell the individual you’re sorry and will ensure the same won’t happen again. Being able to admit to your mistakes is the mature thing to do. Trying to lay blame or pass the responsibility onto someone else, is an easy option to take. However, it is something that a child might do, not a grown adult.

Over to you my friends:

• What other ways can we use to make ourselves more likable?
• Please share your valuable thoughts, experiences and views in the comments box below.
• Please also share this post on your favourite social networks. Thank you.

 

Photo Credit: CarbonNYC

 

31 Comments
  1. Hiten – the biggest thing for me is to actually listen to what the other person is saying and show a genuine interest. There is nothing more obvious than someone pretending to be interested.

    – Razwana

    1. Hi Razwana,

      Many thanks for your comment and for adding your point about actually listening in a genuine way. Indeed, as you quite rightly said, when someone is pretending to be interested, this quickly becomes apparent.

      Have a great week!

      1. hey Hiten – completely agree with Razwana here. Being genuine, listening to others (and I’d add taking an interest in others) is by far the best way to be likeable. People do not like people who simply talk about themselves or what interests them – they do appreciate those who take an interest in the other person’s story, life and circumstances. You’ve talked about this on your blog quite a bit too.

        No better person to take this advice from someone like yourself who is liked by a lot of us online and your offline life too 🙂

        1. Hi Vishnu,

          It’s great to see you here, mate!

          Indeed, Razwana made some key points about being likable, which are the most important ones. Being genuine was one that I had to work on myself for years. I had such a low sense of self; I believed that I had to hide myself as people wouldn’t like me for who I was. It was only when I began to work on my own self-esteem and confidence, that I learnt that by being me who was happy with myself, it attracted other people towards me too.

          I know what you mean about people not liking others who simply talk about themselves. This becomes even more apparent when we come face to face with someone who is so ego driven, yet we ourselves are more modest. At least I think so from my own experience.

          You’re too kind, Vishnu! You know, we can all say the same thing about you. Just the smiley face on your profile picture paints a thousand words, and says this is one guy we’ll like!

          Have a wonderful week ahead and I’ll catch up with you on your blog shortly.

  2. Dr Hiten,
    I so much agree with everything here. You are judged by your look. Appearance speaks volume! Therefore, you have to be clean and also keep your mouth clean. These are what I look for when interviewing people or meeting new people.
    Many people brag too much, I personally see no reason in this. Just be yourself. You wont archive anything when you brag, you will miss a lot of opportunity.
    Thanks for the share, this is definitely a good read.

    1. Hi Seun,

      It’s great to see you here, my friend!

      I loved what you wrote in your comment about being clean and keeping our mouths cleans. Indeed, personal hygiene is very important and we need to ensure we’re properly washed and bathed before we interact with people!

      Absolutely, so many people brag. It’s quite interesting to see it in action. The person is bragging in order to give some type of value to himself/herself when in fact it is actually a form of insecurity.

      Many thanks for commenting, Seun and for adding so much more to this post.

      Have a great week.

  3. As you point out Hiten, simply being genuine is the most important aspect of being likable. What’s the point of putting on a show to get others to like you when the person they end up liking isn’t the real you?

    Better to just be yourself, even if you’re a surly bastard. Then, at least, the people that like you will like you for who you are. Warts and all.

    Cheers!

    1. Hi Trevor,

      Absolutely, being genuine is the most important! Through my own experiences of creating change, I’ve experimented with developing new behaviours that have helped to push me out of my own comfort zones. However, what I’ve found is that at the core, there will always be me. I’ve found it much better to work with this core self, rather than be someone whom I’m not.

      Many thanks for commenting and sharing your great views on this area. Have a great week, Trevor!

  4. Hi Hiten,

    Wonderful post indeed 🙂

    Being likable isn’t tough I think, if we follow all the way your mentioned. I agree with all of them, especially the one about being who you really are and not trying to portray yourself as someone else. This is a major problem I see in so many people and most of the time they don’t realize how the other person takes them because they can make out they are copying or being fake.

    Bragging too never works and is an instant put-off with me too. And if you are not good and courteous in the way you talk and deal with people, no one is going to like you. I think it all comes down to just being you – and being honest, straight forward, and gentle in your approach. When you are yourself in-front of others, they can make out if the person is genuine or not, or at least I can.

    Also, if you help others in whatever way you can, especially when they need help, I think that’s another reason they might like you

    Thanks for sharing this with us. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      I’m so glad you liked the post, my friend!

      I’m really glad you could resonate with the points in the post and especially the one about being who we really are and not trying to be something we’re not. By trying to be someone else, we actually waste time through not allowing others to get to know us properly.

      Indeed, I can’t stand bragging either! I loved the way you explained to be gentle along with being honest and straightforward. I agree with this approach. Absolutely, if one is generally difficult, then one stands the risk of being disliked by a lot of people. This is fine if the person genuinely isn’t bothered about how they come across. However, in this world we need to constantly interact with each other to get things do. I find it so much better to cooperate and respect other’s views because when we do this, then people usually do it back to us.

      Have a great week too, Harleena! 🙂

  5. Nice points Hiten….. One should also maintain his/her natural instinct a bit….. A people should always be genuine about every action performed…….

    1. Hi Debopam,

      Welcome to the blog and many thanks for leaving your great comment!

      I couldn’t agree with you more about what you wrote regarding one maintaining his/her natural self. I think this is so important to do and thanks for sharing your views on this area.

  6. Nice one Hiten. It reminds me of the TV series – Everybody loves Raymond in which he tries to be likeable so hard, that he cannot take being hated by anyone no matter what.

    Yes of course, one should not go overboard to make sure that others like them, and of course being superficial will help nobody.

    If you are liked for the person you are, for the character that you put forth, for the attitude you project, then you can be sure that you have made a mark. I would love to be there at that level with every acquaintance of mine.

    Thanks for this wonderful article.

    1. Hi Praveen,

      It’s great to see you!

      I’m glad you liked the article and many thanks for leaving your comment. Indeed, I can definitely see the similarly with Everybody Loves Raymond. I too used to be someone who couldn’t stand being hated by anyone, mainly because I was so insecure and would be worried I might be rejected. It’s taken a lot of years and effort to realise that I can never please everyone, so it’s not even worth trying!

      Indeed, as you quite rightly said, being superficial never works. By doing this we are actually hiding our true selves. It is our true selves, which hold the greatest power in terms of increasing our likability by others. We need to find ways of using our true selves as sources of strength to help develop our relationships.

      Thanks very much for sharing your views and thoughts on this area, Praveen. Hope you’re having a good week.

  7. Great attributes and actions to exhibit and take, Hiten. In today’s digital, always-on world, it is also important to ignore your devices when talking with and listening to another person. Our attention needs to be focused. It shows a courtesy and sets the right example in turn. Thanks! Jon

    1. Hi Jon,

      I’m really glad you like the points in the post. Ah, I totally agree with the point you made about the digital world and turning off devices when around people. Just the other day I read an article in the paper about how people in general are so much more distracted because of smartphones and tablets. I’ve also sat in meetings where discussions are taking place, yet certain individuals just can’t get away from the smartphones! This is definitely not the correct way to create a lasting impression.

      Many thanks for adding more value to this post, Jon!

  8. Hi Hiten,

    Great ways to make more friends. I think for me the most important thing is to feel good about just being me. Then all the points you brought up just happen naturally. If I’m not feeling good about myself, putting myself down, judging myself it tends to show up all over the place! Learning the gift of loving myself first makes the biggest difference in all my relationships.

    Thank you Hiten!

    1. Hi Karen,

      I’m really glad you liked the article and thanks for your wonderful comment! I can so resonate with the point you made about feeling good about being ourselves. Indeed, you are right. When we’re feeling happy and stable then the other points do just manifest themselves. As you quite rightly said, we need to first love (and like) ourselves, which then positively impacts our relationships.

      Many thanks for adding so much more to this post, Karen!

  9. When I was teaching law, the feedback I got from my students was that I was very tough and at the same time very approachable. They said that I clearly respected and cared about my students and that I was never afraid to say I didn’t know something. I liked that.

    I think this echoes your points about courtesy and being genuine. I also like what was added about listening. I think mostly what gets in the way of being likable is fear. When we are afraid, we’re more likely to be focused on ourselves than on others, and we’re more likely to try to present a front.

    1. Hi Galen,

      You’re such a wonder teacher. Your students were very lucky to have you! We’re all lucky to have you now! As you experienced yourself, through having the ability to admit when there was something you didn’t know, what this did was create further trust with your students. This is great.

      I’m so glad you made point about fear and being likable. This is similar to the way I used to be when I was younger. I was desperate to be liked but it was more out of fear of being rejected rather than in a healthy way.

      Hope you’re having a good week, Galen!

  10. Great points! I have found having a positive attitude, being energetic, and having a optimistic mindset ways to be a likeable person. People enjoy being around someone who has those traits.

    1. Hi Dan,

      It’s always wonderful to see you here, my friend.

      I’m so glad you shared your approach you use to make yourself likable. As you pointed out, how we are internally in terms of our attitude and optimism really impacts how likable we are. Indeed, we first need to ensure we have got our inner world in a good shape, which will then project onto others.

      Thanks so much for leaving such a brilliant comment, Dan!

  11. Hiten, I always appreciate how practical your posts are, like this one, full of useful tips. To answer your question, I’d say that everyone likes someone who takes a genuine interest in them. Engage them in conversation, ask them questions but not so penetrating that it sounds like you’re interviewing or interrogating them. Be fully present with them. Don’t dart your eyes, because it gives off the impression that you’re scanning the room for more interesting people than the person you’re with. Thank you again for the tips!

    1. Hi Alice,

      Thank you so much for your comment! I really do appreciate your support, my friend.

      Indeed, I can really appreciate the point you made how people like it when others take a genuine interest in them. I guess people who take such an interest really do stand out, as a lot of interactions in general can be so superficial.

      I really liked the advice you shared about questioning properly and ensuring it doesn’t sound like an interview. I’ve been guilty of this myself. You’re spot on about being fully present with another person when talking to him/her. I believe Princess Diana used to be master at keeping total attention on the person she was engaging with despite there being many other potential distractions in the environment.

      Many thanks for sharing some great further tips and for adding so much more value to this post, Alice.

  12. Nice ways to be familier with everyone. Listening others and willing to accept change and are viewed as flexible, be complimented and adaptable also help you to be likeable. Personally i avoid people who shows temper, use toxic language, make complain and do gossip so always try to avoid these things and you will be obviously more likeable.

    Thanks for sharing Hiten !!!!

    1. Hi Rupali,

      Ah, it’s always great to see you here, my friend! I hope you’re well.

      I loved the additional ways you shared about how we can become more likable. In particular, I appreciate the point you made about complimenting. Everyone likes to be complimented, and when we receive one that is genuine it can make us feel so good.

      You also shared some great things we need to avoid doing, such as being angry, using bad language, complaining and gossiping. People who demonstrate such traits over again can in the end put off a lot of people.

      Many thanks for sharing some great advice on this area, Rupali so that we all can learn more.

  13. Hello Hiten,

    I think simplicity is the best way to be likable to everyone. Too much showy gives bad impression. Another thing a proverb says – it is better to have enemy than friend. An enemy should point out the lacking but a friend will always praise you.

    Your article will lead to be a positive & likable man 🙂

    1. Hi Ahsan,

      I just loved what you wrote in your comment about simplicity being the best way to become likable and I agree with your point. Indeed, with simplicity we make ourselves relatable to so many more people.

      Thank you so much for sharing this great proverb! Indeed, where friends might not tell us what we need to hear for fear of upsetting us, those who don’t like us most likely will.

      Thanks for commenting, Ahsan. I appreciate your support. 🙂

  14. Hi Hiten,

    This is such a good post for everyday living. Just being ourselves creates a positive aura around us. It starts with being comfortable with who we are. Common sense comes into play and caring that you are making a good impression. The bottom line is that what we put out all comes back to us. Wonderful reminder!! Thanks.

    1. Hi Cathy,

      I’m really glad you liked this post. I loved what you wrote about the positive aura just being ourselves, can create. It took me a long time to learn this and indeed as you said, it required being comfortable with ourselves and valuing ourselves.

      Absolutely, if we do care about making a good impression, then we will take appropriate action to do so. You’re spot on. The effort we put will bring its own rewards.

      Many thanks for commenting, Cathy and sharing your views on this area. Have a great week!

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    well-known blogger should you aren’t already. Cheers!

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