How to say no to problems

Please join me today, in welcoming back a very good friend of this blog, Farouk Radwan who has written this guest post. Farouk is the founder of one of the top personal development websites: http://www.2knowmyself.com.

No, this is not an article about assertiveness or one that will tell you what to do when you don’t feel like doing a certain task. Rather, it’s one that will tell you how to say no to life when it asks you to give up on your dreams.

Life is not rosy, it’s full of tough times an unexpected problems. One day you might find that you are feeling great and in the next day you might find yourself completely down because of a sudden unexpected event that happened.

Saying no to people is easy, you just have to summon your courage and say what you really want to say but when it comes to life problems, saying no should be done in a different way.

How to refuse to let life put you down

  • Stop complaining and giving excuses: When something bad happens, complaining becomes the easiest way to feel. After all it’s much easier to complain and object about everything without doing any effort to fix your life. If you are serious about getting what you want in life, then you must understand that the more you complain the less you will work. Forget about the blame game and go straight forward to work.
  • Move: In order to change the bad life events that you don’t like, you need to move. There are two types of people in this world, those who do nothing and wish that things become better and those who move! Moving is all about being eager to change whatever you don’t like about your life. The direction of the movement won’t matter as long as you are doing something. Find anything to do and keep moving. One day you will come across the right thing to do and your life will become better.
  • Be flexible: Sometimes you wont be able to reach what you want in life before you take u-turns. If you wanted a job so badly then didn’t get it then you must be flexible enough to find another one even if you don’t like it that much. Do something that you don’t like for a while until you manage to do what you like. In other words, be flexible when it comes to short term goals without ever giving up on your big dreams.
  • Say no to those who put you down: During down times the number of people who will put you down will become bigger. Everyone will seem to be trying to break you and to let you stop. Say no to those who put you down by refusing to believe them. Say no by doing your best to prove them wrong and say no by being patient until they realize that you were born to succeed.

Examples of people who said no

  • Steve Jobs: Steve Jobs always wanted to work in the computer industry but he was rejected by both IBM and Atari. Steve didn’t stop at this rejection. He said no by proving those who rejected him wrong. Steve jobs created the Apple empire and showed the world that anybody can still succeed even if he was rejected by industry experts.
  • Soichiro Honda: Soichiro Honda was passionate about the automotive industry. He applied for a job at Toyota but the interviewers rejected him, after they told him he was not fit for that industry. A typical response of an ordinary person at that time would have been giving up. However, Honda was one of the people who said no to life challenges, and he decided to keep going. He started thinking about creating his own company. Within years the car manufacturer Honda was born, which competed with Toyota and took some of its market share.
  • Oscar Pistorious: Oscar, a South African kid, became an amputee after losing both legs. Oscar decided to play sports with his newly acquired artificial limbs. He played water polo, tennis and rugby. While playing rugby he injured his knees and had to give up on it. Oscar decided to say no to life problems by finding another sport he could excel at. He started running and yesterday he qualified for the 400 meters semi finals in the ongoing Olympics!

Do you what’s common between all of those people?

Those people aren’t extraordinary human beings or  super heroes. They are just ordinary people who decided to say no and refused to live a mediocre life just because they faced a challenge or two.

If you want to get what you want in life then know that one of the most important keys for doing so is saying no.

Ready to say no?

 

Your turn

  • What do you do when you say no to life problems?
  • Please share your experiences, where you boldly said no to a problem, and went for what you wanted.
  • Please share your valuable views and thoughts in the comments box below.
  • Please also share this post on your favourite social networks.

 

Photo Credit: roland

26 Comments
  1. What do you do when you say no to life problems? I think the older we get, the easier it gets to stay calm when problems arise. I always have a notebook with Pros and Cons and sort things out.
    Please share your experiences, where you boldly said no to a problem, and went for what you wanted. I am currently under paid, and I am planning on getting to the bottom of why. I have a paralegal degree and I can do all of the jobs for my current company. My boss, said, “Jackie, you are over qualified.” for a raise or promotion. This is the 3rd time since Jan 2012. I am 46 years young and this is really bad. I am sorting it all out now.

    1. Hi Jackie,

      I agree, with age, it is definitely easier to remain composed when problems arise. It’s like as we got older, we realise there is far more to life that worrying about problems. I love the way you use a notebook, to help you get a better perspective on solving problems.

      It sounds like you have tons of skills in the workplace and can easily go beyond the call of duty! It’s wonderful knowing you have access to so many inner resources, and a highly competent set of outer skill sets, right?

      I wish you all the best with getting a promotion and/or increase in salary.

      Many thanks for commenting, Jackie! It’s great to see you here. 🙂

    2. Hi Jackie
      i can understand how that feel but i want you to make sure that i have been through worse
      in 2006 i had the dream of making a lot of money through the stock market
      i risked everything i had and lost 80% of my money in addition to 80% of the savings of my family that they had collected throughout their entire life

      i became depressed and was down for years but i decided to say no
      years later i got all the money i lost back through the blog i started !
      in other words, we all go through down times and rejections but saying no is the only thing that can help you go through them

      1. Hi Farouk,

        Your story is truly inspirational, my friend! To have lost all that money and then to have made it back is awesome! 🙂

  2. Very well said, Farouk. The examples are perfect.

    But it takes a special attitude to see what you’ve mentioned here. One needs to be ready to wake up and open up to these realizations. Most times, unless we think we CAN, nothing is possible. The moment we think we can, everything is possible.

    My Mom was my mentor and inspiration and today, I owe my mental strength to her – in spite of life’s difficulties, neither of us every gave up and when one was upset, the other was always there to wipe the tears. It is two years since she passed away, but she lives on in my heart, guiding me to expand, grow and stretch beyond the average.

    Wonderful post. Thank you, Hiten. Always enjoy Farouk’s posts.

    1. Vidya
      that’s so right
      there is a saying that i love, some people make money while others make excuses!
      once you believe you can you will certainly reach what you want

      1. Brilliantly stated, Farouk! 🙂

        Once we believe can, we can achieve what we want! What a powerful line!

    2. Hi Vidya,

      Thanks for your comment! I agree with you. It’s always a pleasure to read Farouk’s post. He has a distinct, ‘never say die’ attitude that fits in so brilliantly with this blog.

      As you say, one really does need to be ready to accept and absorb these teachings. What Farouk writes about involves taking responsibility for oneself and her/his actions.

      Thank you so much for sharing the comment about your mum, and I’m sorry to hear about her passing away. She certainly does sound like one amazing person and a real pillar and example for you, from whom you have learnt so much. As you said, she lives on in your heart to continue to guide you and give you strength.

      Indeed, our parents can truly be such inspirational role models for us. It’s a fantastic resource.

      Thanks a lot for commenting, and sharing your views and experiences, Vidya!

  3. Wonderful post Farouk and I’m glad you got him over Hiten!

    Yes indeed, many a times we need to learn to say NO and stand up to the challenges life throws at us, though very few are able to do that, which makes them unlike the great personalities like Steve Jobs you mentioned here.

    I guess there needs to a strong will, a drive, and the want to go ahead against all odds first. And you so rightly mentioned that when and if you want something, you don’t make excuses for not achieving those things. Instead, you need to exert yourself and move ahead with full gusto and achieve what you thought was a problem. You don’t need to fear failure or think that if once you haven’t achieved something, you won’t achieve it at all.

    Speaking of myself, there was a time when I had second thoughts of whether I should quit my full time job and turn to become a freelance writer working from home. But I knew the problems I was facing and the problems I would face working from home too. Nevertheless, when I knew my priorities and had things clear in my mind of what I wanted, there was no looking back. Yes, there are people who pull you down with their negative remarks, but at those times it’s your inner voice that you need to hear and go all out and face the challenge, which is what I did, and I’m glad I did that too. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing and Happy Friendship Day. 🙂

    1. thanks a lot for your wise words Harleena,
      you certainly added a lot to the post
      happy to see you here : )

      1. Hi Farouk,

        My thoughts, exactly! Harleena has definitely added a lot to your great post!

    2. Hi Harleena,

      I have to agree with you. A person needs to have strong will and drive to go against all the odds. One thing, which is very evident from those people who make great strides in their lives, is how they are almost always very driven. And they have a strong passion as well.

      Absolutely, the fear of failure needs to be ignored. It’s not even real. And one will ‘fail’ numerous times before success will begin. Again, the great achievers of this world such as those, which Farouk included in his post, have demonstrated this.

      I think its wonderful how you went on to become a freelance writer and a famous one, too! 🙂

      In times of confusion, it is great to list our priorities as you did, in order to help clarify what we truly want in life.

      Thanks for your amazing comment and for adding so much more to this discussion!

  4. Farouk,
    So glad you are the guest poster! I need to come and visit your blog more often. I love your examples of saying no! They are admirable people that we can get a lot of inspiration from. They are saying yes to their passions as they say no to rejection. Thank you! Great inspiration for me today!!

    Thanks, Hiten, for featuring Farouk today!!

    1. Besty
      am happy with your comment and Glad i saw you here 🙂
      pass by often and keep up the good work 🙂

    2. Hi Betsy,

      I’m really glad you liked Farouk’s post! He certainly does have a very powerful way of writing. It’s been great having him here.

      You said the following:

      “They are saying yes to their passions as they say no to rejection.”

      What an empowering sentence!

      Let us all keep saying a big “yes” to our passions and a big “no” to rejections!

      Thank you so much for your awesome comment, Betsy. 🙂

  5. Hi Farouk and Hitten,
    I love this. Indeed there is incredible power in saying NO to problems and denying the lie of the Counterfeit Self. For instance when i hear myself saying,“How stupid of me,” I deny the lie by saying something like this: “I deny that I’m stupid. This opinion is a lie, and I grant it no power in my life. I am not stupid. I am intelligent. I simply made a mistake and I will use my intelligence to clean up any problem I caused.” It’s a Marvelous Denial… deny the lies of the Counterfeit Self and just say NO to the mess it can make!

    1. Hi Rob,

      I can tell that Farouk’s post has resonated with you! I just loved your comment and thank you for writing and sharing your expertise, so that we may all learn from you.

      I’ve been thinking of you recently. Indeed, I have been using your teachings just this week. A couple of times I caught my mind going into problems, and I said a big “no” to what you described as the Counterfeit Self.

      You are so right. They are all lies, every single one of them! Let us name and shame them.

      Thanks for supporting Farouk here, Rob! 🙂

  6. hi Rob
    Glad to see you here,
    you explained it very well
    by developing the habit of saying no to your negative thoughts you will fortify the positive ones
    thanks for your comment 🙂

  7. Hi Farouk and Hiten,

    This is such an inspirational post! I love the idea of setting boundaries, finding your strength and pushing through to excel and create something wonderful. Just read the Steve Job bio and enjoyed it. We were so inspired by watching Oscar Pistorious in the Olympics. What a gift he is. I never knew the history of Honda, so that was very interesting as well. Thank you for sharing these amazing examples of what people can do when they believe in themselves. Take care and have a great day!

    1. Hi Cathy,

      I agree, Farouk definitely has written a very inspirational post!

      The bios really are wonderful, and such things are a great example of a resource we can all use, when we are feeling what we are trying to do is difficult. Instead of feeling defeated, we can always look for individuals who once were trying to do what we want, experienced difficulties doing so, and continued to break down the barriers, until success was eventually achieved!

      Thanks a lot for dropping by here, and commenting! Your support is greatly appreciated.

    2. am so happy you liked the post Cathy
      the more we know about those successful people the more we get inspired
      thanks for commenting : )

      1. Hi Farouk,

        It’s the same with you, my friend. The more you share your powerful messages with us all, the more inspired we become!

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