How to Set Your Expectations Higher


Do you find your life heading in a direction, which you don’t want it to? Are you fed up with the results you’re achieving in your personal life, or at work?

If so, it’s worth considering how much your current expectations might be contributing to what you are achieving.

Below are some tips on setting expectations, to help you get your life moving in the way you want it to:

You are good enough

In order to get more in life, you need to expect more. In order to expect more, you need feel deserving.

Instead of telling yourself you don’t deserve to be a certain way, or convincing yourself you’re not good enough, say “yes” to the fact that you are good enough to do whatever it is you want to, and that you can achieve what you want.

Remember, you deserve to be the very best and have the best of what life has to offer. The belief that you don’t is false and reject it with a big “no”.

Raise your standards

Related to the point above, is setting your standards high. It only makes sense to do so. If you want a better paid job, then you need to up your game in terms of working harder, developing your skills and actually applying for roles that are highly paid.

What is it currently that you want in life? It could be better health, or wealth in terms of greater finances, or greater inner peace, or being able to spend more time in better states, have richer relationships etc.

Whatever it is, imagine its corresponding highest level. This is the level to set your expectations at.

Aim for the stars, my friends. Even if you don’t reach the stars there are many things way up in the sky that are close to the stars, which themselves are great goals to aim for.

Ignore other’s expectations

When you expect more in life, others will notice. They will see you’re attempting to create changes in your life. Some will be supportive. Others won’t. Those who don’t support you might be happy to see you in your impoverished position.

Ignore those who are close to you in the most compassionate way as you can. They’re most likely afraid you will change and might leave them behind. Reassure them this isn’t the case. Even encourage them to raise their own standards!

Condition yourself for high levels of achievement

If you can see yourself achieving high standards in your endeavours and see yourself living the life you want on the screen of your mind, first, then it can be a reality for you.

Visualise yourself already living the life you want, being the best you can and having what you want. Make it as real as possible so that it feels like you already have it.

When you’ve done this type of visualisation once, do it again and again. And another time for luck.

In truth though, luck has very little to do with it. What you’re doing is commissioning your brain to go and seek out in the real world, what you’ve already made a reality in your mind.

My friends, it’s over to you:

• What ways do you use to raise your game, and set your expectations in life higher?
• Please share your valuable views, experiences and thoughts in the comments box below.
• Please also share this post on your favourite social networks. Thank you.


Photo Credit: aprillynn77

  1. Hi Hiten,

    Great post here. It is important to believe in ourselves and have confidence in what you are doing. It is easy to be distracted, but staying focused on my goals has helped me achieve what I want in life.

    1. Hi Cathy,

      Indeed, as you say, self-belief and confidence is so important to help us make progress in life. The great thing about both is that they can be developed. One needn’t feel dejected by their situation. Solutions always exist and the best ones usually come from within us.

      Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with remaining focused. It just shows that being focused despite distractions really does work in helping our success!

      Many thanks for leaving your wonderful comment, Cathy!

  2. Hi Hiten,

    I couldn’t agree more with all that you’ve written 🙂

    Yes, we all have our low and down times, but to be able to think high and keep your standard and expectations high boosts your morale instantly, isn’t it? I think that self-affirmation that I AM good, and I CAN do it makes a lot of difference.

    People sometimes pull you down too and that can shatter a person a great deal. I think sometimes they condemn you or they expect a lot out of you, which you should ignore or bypass such people. I’ve yet to try the visualize technique you mentioned – or perhaps it’s imagining yourself and thinking you can do it 🙂

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

    1. Hi Harleena,

      Indeed, as you quite rightly said, being able to set our standards high and expect the best does boost our morale. It’s also like an attractor. When we expect the best, our minds tend to seek out the best (whatever that may be for each of us individually), and eventually we will experience the best!

      Absolutely, as you said, people will always try and pull us down at times. There can be many reasons for this such as feeling threatened or jealously perhaps. It’s best to ignore these people and continue with the journey in front of us.

      I love this particular visualisation. When I do it vividly, it really does feel like I’ve had the experience I want already. I then just forget about it and when a situation arises, I handle it far better, as I’ve already experienced it in my mind!

      Many thanks for commmenting and have a great rest of the week, Harleena! 🙂

  3. Hi Hiten,
    I endorse your suggestion about conditioning ourselves for winning.
    A lot of us wait for something to happen in life before we take personal initiative to grow and succeed
    Yes it is obvious.Yet a lot of us keep waiting for some other big stimulus to come along in life and goad us to start growing one fine morning.
    Well it doesn’t happen that way at all.
    Like you said we have to actually work on ourselves ;condition ourselves for success.
    What you simply need is a bit of discrimination,a lot of commitment,a bit of objectivity,a lot of patience,and dollops of humour. This just about sets right the environment for growth.

    1. Hi Mona,

      I’m so glad you could resonate with the point about conditioning ourselves for winning. We usually condition ourselves for failure, through negative beliefs, thoughts and actions. We can consciously take control of our lives, and reverse this process around completely, by changing our thoughts, the way we talk to ourselves and what we believe.

      Absolutely, I can really appreciate what you wrote about the stimulus that will come along one day by luck. As you pointed out, it just doesn’t happen. We need to take control of our own destiny, and that can only begin when we realise we have the capacity to change, and then make efforts to actually create change.

      I loved what you wrote about having dollops of humour! Indeed, humour is such a powerful force we can rely on when the going gets tough.

      Thanks for leaving such an inspirng comment, my friend.

  4. It is sometimes disheartening when you feel down. I have gotten a deal to work for one site but I feel I am not qualified for the job.

    Hahahaha! It’s a funny feeling though. Thanks Hiten for this interesting piece.

    1. Hi Emmanuel,

      Welcome the blog!

      Congratulations on getting the deal! I hope it goes really well. Remember, that feeling which tells you you’re not qualified for the job is false. Your ego is probably thinking that you will end up doing a brilliant job, and is feeling a little threatened! 🙂

      Many thanks for leaving your comment, Emmanuel!

  5. Hiten,
    It’s mainly about “Choice” … choose to do better or don’t.
    It starts with “Motivation”. If there is a spark within you to want to do better/achieve more then progress will be made … whether under your own steam or with some[or a lot of] help. If you are not motivated then you are stationary.
    Thanks for this, the points you raised are valid … provide you exercise Choice and have the motivation to do something about it. When that is established, then I suggest they make an indelible copy of this blog posting and review it frequently.

    Be good to yourself

    1. Hi David,

      I can really appreciate what you wrote about “Choice” and “Motivation”. As you quite rightly said, we have the ability to choose do be better or not. A conscious choice to improve our lives, backed up by strong motivation certainly is a powerful combination to drive our progress.

      Many thanks for commenting, David and for adding so much more to this post.

  6. Hi Hiten – I only realised quite late in life that I’d always tended to do the opposite of this – I’d unconsciously visualise myself under-achieving. It’s amazing how powerful those mental images can be, for good or ill.

    I now try consciously to visualise myself succeeding – but I don’t just visualise the end result; I picture myself doing what’s necessary to get there, to make it “real”. I think that in order to be effective, this kind of visualisation needs to be as detailed and concrete as possible.

    Thanks for another very inspiring and helpful post, Hiten 🙂

    1. Hi Sue,

      Many thanks for sharing your experiences in this area. Indeed, most of us do tend to visualise ourselves underachieving. I think it’s fascinating how our brains seem to do this by default as opposed to visualising what we can do and how we are capable.

      Still, at least we can take control of what we visualise consciously and begin to create some images in our minds that will serve us.

      I loved the approach you use of visualising yourself doing all the steps in order to reach the end goal. This is such a powerful way to do as you say, and make it “real”. Many thanks for sharing this great advice.

      Thanks very much for adding so much more value to this post, Sue. Hope you’re having a good week! 🙂

  7. I love the idea about raising your standards. It’s something that I am trying to get better at.

    The key for me is the notion of working hard even when no one is looking. This breeds consistency and a work ethic which is how success is formed.

    1. Hi Jamie,

      What you wrote about working hard even when no one is looking really struck a chord with me. I wholeheartedly agree with what you said about how consistency and strong work ethic is formed when good work is done where no one else even knows about it. It reminded me a bit of the dedicated entrepreneurial mind set, perhaps even a little like you and I! 🙂

      Thanks for your great comment and have a top weekend, my friend.

  8. Hi Hiten

    I am learning more about deserving. As we all seemed to be programmed we are not good enough or we come from humble backgrounds so we have to work harder than anyone else to achieve an average life.

    When I was a kid I had a huge imagination of how important, rich and popular, everything I wasn’t in real life. May be if I had kept that set in my mind it might have actually happened.

    Getting everyone on the same page as you are when you live with someone can be quite a task. It seems that it has eventually transpired. But others are not always on your time schedule and you can’t push people into what you want to happen. But wishing is done and action is now taking place. Why does it take so long for some to get on the same path. Probably thinking that they are the only one that can fix things is the real issue. Asking for help and believing you can be successful in whatever you do can change your mindset. We have to learn how to think about things differently, successful people do have a different mindset…they believe they are successful and it is never a failure, just a minor setback and a lesson to learn.

    I wonder if things start to come to you when you shift your thinking about yourself and reflect on how you can help others. Very good post on these thoughts.


    1. Hi Mary,

      Indeed, it really does amaze me how we do seem to be programmed in a way where we perceive ourselves not to be good enough. I wonder how different the world would be if we programmed to be the opposite, and by default believed ourselves to be good enough.

      It definitely does seem to happen more as we get older. The ego seems to take over.

      Indeed, getting others on the same page can be difficult. I actually stopped trying to do this when I realised that each one of us has to be ready to change. Until this happens, whatever we say might end up going in one ear and out the other.

      I can really resonate with what you said about learning to think differently. When we begin to do this and change the way we talk to ourselves, suddenly the world seems different because we see ourselves differently.

      Thanks for leaving such a wonderful comment, Mary. Have a great weekend!

  9. Great post here. It is important to believe in ourselves and have faith, confidence in what you are doing. Be focused on your target then you will achieve everything you want.

    1. Hi Smsaravana Kumar,

      Welcome to the blog!

      I’m so glad you liked the post and I loved what you wrote in your comment. Indeed, self-belief is so important. When we believe in ourselves, literally anything is possible. I agree maintaining focus is vitally important for helping us to achieve what we want to.

      Many thanks for commenting!

  10. Hi Hiten
    There is another great insight i have gathered recently from some one and i wnant to share it with every one,because it also resonates with your point about other’s expectations.
    We always benefit from seeing what is good in others.Not expecting form others only.In fact expecting less from others is a good way to treat our own selves well.
    this is not in a sense of apathy but active detachment ,with respect for other’s choices.

    1. Hi Mona,

      Excellent insights, indeed and many thanks for sharing!

      You’re totally spot on. Looking for the good in other people is such a resourceful attitude to take, as it involves a positive energy which spreads.

      I also agree with what you said about expecting less from others. When we don’t expect from others, we prevent the ego from arising and causing havoc when someone hasn’t’ lived up to our ideals and as you say, we respect others more for being their unique selves.

      Many thanks for sharing this wonderful advice, Mona. Have a great week!

  11. Great points, Hiten! One point I’d add is stop trying so hard. Sometimes, we keep banging our heads against the wall, thinking that if we only try harder, things will work out. As Einstein said about insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. We just need to take a step back and realize that what we did before served its purpose and it’s time to move on. Thanks for another thought-provoking post, my friend!

    1. Hi Alice,

      I’m so glad you liked the points and I really appreciate what you added about trying so hard and stopping doing this. I think this mind set can be an easy one to fall into. I’ve done it myself, also.

      As you said, trying hard using certain approaches again and again, which don’t give us the results we want doesn’t make sense. It is better to learn the lessons from such experiences and try another approach.

      Many thanks for commenting, Alice!

  12. Hey Hiten,

    Agree with all of your points. I think the challenging part is ignoring others’ expectations (some people may not encourage you taking risks. They do care, but they don’t necessarily support you to take any chances and “ruin” your existing life). But, sometimes, we just have to take the chance. We have to go for it and see how it goes.

    I do love visualizing my own success – I do it everyday (I tell myself: this is how I will be in 10 years. This is what I will achieve).

    I also love experimenting with my life. For instance, I wasn’t taking any classes this semester. So, I set myself several goals to achieve (most of them were focused on sharpening my brain and learning more things – particularly, learning to love learning, once again). It went well. Sure, I do feel that I could have done more, but it went well 😀

    Anyways, thank you for sharing your thoughts, Hiten 🙂 Appreciate it!

    1. Hi Jeevan,

      It’s great to see you and I can really resonate with what you said about the challenges with ignoring others, It’s even more difficult when it’s those who are closest to us who are not being supportive. Ultimately, it is ourselves who need to have experiences in order to figure out what is good for us. As you said, we have to go for it and see what happens.

      It’s wonderful to hear about your experiences with visualisation and thanks for sharing about this! Creative visualisation really does work!

      I loved what you shared about setting some goals to sharpen your mind when you had some spare time. The time we invest to do such things can last us for our whole lives.

      Many thanks fot leaving such a wonderful and inspiring comment, Jeevan!

  13. Well, I have one doubt and after you clear that I can proceed with my comment. 🙂
    I have read and experienced that expectations are the only cause of all the sad part of your life because you are never exposed to the probability of getting that thing fulfilled. So I am in a dilemma after reading our post. I’ll be glad to get an answer from you. 🙂

  14. It’s enormous that you are getting ideas from this post as well as
    from our argument made here.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge